"If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died -- you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift." 

~Elizabeth Edwards



Grief is not a condition to be cured but a life experience to be had.


 -If I be the First of us to Die - 

If I be the first of us to die,
Let grief not blacken long your sky.
Be bold yet modest in your grieving.
There is a change but not a leaving.
For just as death is part of life,
The dead live on forever in the living.
And all the gathered riches of our journey,
The moments shared, the mysteries explored,
The steady layering of intimacy stored,
The things that made us laugh or weep or sing,
The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring,
The wordless language of look and touch,
The knowing,
Each giving and each taking,
These are not flowers that fade,
Nor trees that fall and crumble,
Nor are the stone,
For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand
And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand.
What we were, we are.
What we had, we have.
A conjoined past imperishably present.
So when you walk the wood where once we walked together
And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,
Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,
And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,
And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you,
Be still.
Close your eyes.
Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you.

Author: Nicholas Evans


"No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside."

-Author unknown 


Beatitudes for Those who Comfort        By: Jacki Deems

Blessed are those who do not use tears to measure the true feelings of the bereaved.

Blessed are those who do not always have a quick "comforting" answer.

Blessed are those who do not make judgements on the bereaved's closeness to God by their reaction to the loss of their loved one.

Blessed are those who hear with their hearts and not with their minds.

Blessed are those who allow the bereaved enough time to heal.

Blessed are those who admit their uncomfortableness and put it aside to help the bereaved.

Blessed are those who continue to call, visit, and reach out when the crowd has dwindled and the wounded are left standing alone.

Blessed are those who know the worth of each person as a unique individual and do not pretend that they can be replaced or forgotten.

Blessed are those who realize the fragility of bereavement and handle it with an understanding shoulder and a loving heart.


"And can it be

that in a world so full and busy, 

the loss of one creature makes a void so wide and deep 

that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up."

~Charles Dickens


We Do Not Need A Special Day       By: Connie Dyer

We do not need a special day

to bring you to our minds.

The days we do not think of you

are very hard to find.

Each morning when we awake 

we know that you are gone.

And no one knows the heartache

as we try to carry on.

Our hearts still ache with sadness

and secret tears still flow.

What it means to lose you

no one will ever know.

Our thoughts are always with you,

your place no one can fill.

In life we loved you dearly;

in death we love you still.

There will always be a heartache

and often a silent tear

but also precious memories 

of days when you were here.

If tears could make a staircase

and heartaches make a lane,

we'd walk the path to heaven

and bring you home again.

We hold you close within our hearts

and there you will remain

to walk with us throughout our lives

until we meet again.

Our family chain is broken now

and nothing is the same

but as God calls us one by one

this chain will link again.


"Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal. Love leaves a memory that no one can steal."    ~Anonymous


"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality."   ~Emily DIckinson


"How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to."   ~Anonymous


Christmas, 2010       By: Kathleen Acosta, Joseph's Mimom

Joyous? Holy?
Trying. Empty.  
Lots to be happy about…
Missing Joe so much. So, so much
Can’t get past it.
Must try to get through it.
Thinking of when times were simpler
And I was ignorant that life would ever be other than it was.
Lucky me. I had no idea how wrong things could go
How much things would change
How none of us that loved him would ever be the same.


There is a sacredness in tears...
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power...
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues...
They are messengers of overwhelming grief...
Of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.            ~Washington Irving

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